please be strong

actually i am afraid and worry about myself. i really am. it has been a year and a half i started my PhD however i found myself nothing. nothing in progress, nothing new as a doctorate student. i met my supervisor just today and he shows some worry too. frankly i am very disappointed and guilty to see his gloomy face. i know he disappointed on me too. and i bet he doesn't put much hope on me anymore. i hate myself for this. how many times i promised myself to change. to be more focus and proactive in this field. however the momentum doesn't maintain. i lost the perseverance. i have another a year and a half to do everything- like from zero. some of the result is not good. i need to be more focus. FOCUS.

actually i did put an aim to complete all my lab work by this year. and the aim is getting married and settled down at my hometown. however this aim doesn't trigger me yet. i am running out of time. more over my health condition seems not very good. besides Dr Chong, i have to see the kidney specialist since they observe unnatural condition in my urine. they suspect my kidney is not in a good condition. this means i need to go home for hospital more frequent.

so what i plan to do now is to keep FOCUS, PERSEVERANCE, STRONG and BE POSITIVE. i really hope people surrounding me would give me the support. and pray to Allah to ease everything.

my lab mate broke this sampling point of my reactor. lab work delayed and i had to travel a lot to USM to fix this.